I Think i’ve Gone Mad

Today I went to my friends funeral

1 Week Early!!!!!

Yes I’ve Officially gone mad!!!!

After my episode on friday where I felt damn well like shite, I went to see my mum the next day.

My mum spoke to me, hugged me, messed around with me……………Exactly what I needed!

I never got to write something about my mum this mothers day as I was working and time ran away! But I want to say now that my mum is the best mum ever, She is truly the most bestest (Dont care if that’s not a real word) friend I could ever have!

She puts up with my emotional crap but never makes feel like I am going mad or being a burden, the love she has for me is unconditional and I feel it in our relationship!

I can tell my mum anything (I really do mean anything, even if she doesn’t really want to hear it) But she still listens and never judges me! She is my safe person and she can always make me feel better just by being with her or speaking to her on the phone.

I’ve needed her these last few weeks and she has had her instant magic with me and made me rationalise and feel a little more human!

I am a very lucky girl to have such a non-judgemental mum (and dad he’s rather brilliant too) My Family are the reason I get through my hard times and rise above everything! Yes I am truly blessed!

So just to end this post

I maybe going mad (I’m sure I heard Trish up they’re chuckling at me for being early) But I have the most amazing family you could ever imagine and my friends are wonderful too!

I am so bloody lucky and I know that!

Thank you

Love Nadine xx

P.s I just want to apologize for worrying my pals on Friday ( You know who you all are) … I’m ok xx

It Makes No Sense!

Its makes no sense to me tonight why I feel like i want to die! How can I be so selfish when iv just lost a friend who didn’t want too!

My brain is working overtime and my body is feeling tense and I feel like i need to have a good damn motherfucking cry!

Life is just feels like it’s getting on top of me again!

My husband doesn’t understand and thinks im just being moody and I am because he doesn’t understand!

Why does it have to be so hard?

why can’t I just get on with things, brush myself down and realise that my problems are easy dealt with?

Right now they are not, they lay heavy on my chest and I cant run from them!

GOD I FEEL SO CRAP

I feel like hiding in my bed forever

Life is a scary place for me in this precise moment of time! Maybe tomorrow I will feel differently and maybe not?

I need to pull myself together

My baby girl needs me too!

I need me too!

My husband needs me too!

I will…..Soon,

Hopefully tomorrow

I’ll feel better.

I Will Miss You

On Friday 15th March 2013 my lovely friend Trish lost her battle with Cancer.

I only found out this morning

I am devastated.

She was a strong, brave and courageous woman and I feel honoured to have met such a wonderful lady!

We met by chance and quite randomly; I was coming out of the doctors one day and she was walking along the street and something was happening (I cant remember what) and we chatted and later on that day we saw each other walking along the path to our children’s school and from that day forward we became friends. You know it had felt like I had always known her, we just clicked!

Today I have felt empty inside because I know im never going to see her again, This is not a good feeling and to be honest even as I type this it doesn’t feel real.

I  have feelings of guilt because I didn’t see her for a while before she died, but she was so ill and didn’t want visitors and I know she wouldn’t want me to feel guilty but a part of me does.

I just want to scream and shout and tell god or whoever is responsible for taking my friend away from me that they are cruel and heartless! Also for taking her away from her 9-year-old and a 14-year-old and leaving them without a mother is a real cuntish thing to do!

I knew something was going on last Thursday when I had this awful gut feeling that something was wrong with my friend. I just knew!

Trish, Thank you for giving me your friendship and your kindness that you always showed me. I am going to miss you with all my heart and I pray that your spirit is ok and pain-free now you have left this world.

Life is unfair and at 40 years old we should never have had to lose you! The fact you fought Cancer twice and won your first battle shows what a fighter you were! You never complained either, You are an inspiration.

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU LOVELY LADY

R.I.P

LOVE YOUR FRIEND

D XX

Soooo Tired

Hello everyone, right now as a write my post iv got matchstick’s trying holding my eyelids open and its taking all of my effort not to dribble on my laptop and blow it up!!

Why didn’t anyone tell me how tiring work, school and trying to run a household  was going to be?!

I’m not really moaning, oh ok I am a little bit, but im soooo tired! There just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to get things done and then when I do have a little bit of time, I need to do homework or housework or other time-consuming shizzle! All I really want to do is SLEEP!!!!

What I need is a little fairy helper who can come and tidy the flat, Yes that is exactly what I need; Does anyone know where I can get one from? preferably free of charge and dressed in pink and lots of sparkly bits (G would love that)! Seriously though my flat looks like its been burgled twice over, god I really need that fairy!! I also need a new brain that works and doesn’t tell my body to do clumsy shit! Oh yes I get even more clumsy when im tired!

Shoot me now

I miss my friends too, All of them; Real life and Twitter friends as I just havent had the time to see or speak to them very much! Hi if your reading this [Waves and blows kisses] Miss you lots!

Dont get me wrong I love the fact that im bettering myself and earning more cash (always a bonus) I just need to winge and moan a bit too HaHa!

so id better go before I really fall asleeZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ;-)

Well The Nerves got Me!!

Ok, So you know in my last post Opinions Needed on my English Paper  I told you all that I had to read it out in front of the class……….

Well I did and it didn’t really go to plan!!

First of all after I posted my paper, I got some good tips from a few of my most awesomeness twitter pals and on Tuesday morning I tweaked my speech a bit and added another paragraph to make it more balanced.

Now don’t get me wrong I was am really bloody proud of myself for all the hard work I put into my speech and honestly the problem wasnt with the speech it was with me!!!

I went into class on Tuesday afternoon all set to read my speech. My other class mates were all quite nervous and all in the same boat as me. There were 3 people in front of me and all did their speeches without incident….. Then it was my turn *Dun Dun Dun* (imagine that was a dramatic noise effect, HaHa). Well next I don’t know what happened but my heart started beating so fast I thought it was actually going to rip through my chest, Alien stylie and then run out of the door! I stood up and started to read; First paragraph fine, then the paper in my hand started shaking with so much vigour I could barely read the writing, my breathing was erratic- Oh Holy Shit I was having a panic attack! At one point I thought my legs were going to go from under me and make the situation 100% worse. So I stopped and looked at everyone and through my neurotic messness I said “Look at the state at me, I can’t handle this”!! My lovely teacher told me to take a deep breath and put my paper on the table, which I did. I then proceeded to prop myself up next to the filing cabinet and from somewhere deep inside of me I found the strength to carry on and read the rest of my speech!

Seriously, I don’t want to that again anytime soon!!

I thought I’d got over all this nonsense! Life has been so much better for me over the last year and a bit. I thought (bloody haha) that I had become so much more of a confident person! But do you know what im not going to let this little set back pull me down, not this time and not ever!!

Even though I totally screwed up the deliverance of my speech I actually got really positive feedback on the speech itself and my tutor even said it was really good!

So all is not a total failure and I suppose I will just have to jump back on the horse to get over my fears……………………One Day!  ;-)

Thanks for reading as always

Love Nadine xx

Opinions Needed on my English Paper

Hi guys, Id like to ask you a favour!

I was asked told to write a speech about a controversial subject by my English teacher and this Tuesday i will have to read it out loud (Eek!) in front of my class!

I have worked really, really hard on it and i just wondered if you would read it and let me know what you think?

Just to warn you the subject matter is Euthanasia.

Euthanasia Speech

 Ladies and Gentlemen, Imagine that a close loved one was suffering from a severe, painful and debilitating illness. They are unable to wash, dress or preform any personal care needs independently and are totally reliant on others, whilst suffering great pain and discomfort. Do you think they should be allowed the right to end their life?

Euthanasia. According to the Oxford dictionary, means “The painless killing of a patient suffering from an incurable and painful disease” or an “irreversible coma”. In the Greek language it means “Easy Death”.

I believe that everyone has the right to choose to die. It is a basic human right. We have the liberty to choose all other aspects of our lives such as where we work, our religion, our sexual preferences and so on, So why cant we choose to end our lives if we are suffering? Animals, when they are very ill and their quality of life is at a downward slant are put to sleep so that they don’t suffer. Surely human beings deserve the same compassion?

Quality of life plays a big part in an individuals choice to die. If that person is trapped like a prisoner in their own body, then their quality of life would be dramatically reduced. Imagine yourself as a highly independent person, who was equally private all of your life, then with misfortune you contract a terrible life wasting disease and are then bound to others caring for you. Humiliating and degrading are two words that can explicate how this could make you feel.

If you need to make the serious and final decision to end your life, you can choose to spend your last moments with your loved ones. It also gives those family members a chance to come to terms and deal with it. I’m not saying this will be easy for them, death rarely is – natural or planned, but in my opinion more bearable knowing your family are with you, holding your hand until the end.

If Euthanasia is legalized then it would be safeguarded and monitored. In countries where it is legalized such as Switzerland and The Netherlands there are strict legal guidelines, that if someone requests Euthanasia they will be seen by two doctors, sometimes more, to carry out an assessment to verify the terminal nature of their illness and also to give a psychological examination to make sure the reason for their choice to die are valid. It is not just a case of “Doctors letting loose” on their patients.

There are many people who are against euthanasia, reason’s being religion, culture or it simply goes against their personal beliefs. One argument is that if voluntary euthanasia becomes legalized then it wouldn’t be long before involuntary euthanasia would start to happen and then doctors would start killing people without their permission. There is a huge difference between people dying who ask for death and people being killed against their will. Thankfully there are very few people lacking in moral understanding that would ignore this distinction. There are also very few people who lack the intelligence to be unable to see the difference between lawful and unlawful killings and quite frankly any doctor or person who ignored the distinction wouldn’t care about breaking the law anyway!

I feel my belief of supporting euthanasia is well and truly justified. Everyone should have the right to make their own choices, in life and equally in death. I know if I contracted a life diminishing illness then I would definitely want the choice to end my pain.

Thanks for reading it and i look forward to hearing your opinions, constructive critisisms and what not!

 Love Nadine xx

Hotel Transylvania- A Pickled Princess Review

Hotel T DVD - hi-res

Today I have watched Hotel Transylvania twice. Yes my lovely readers TWICE!!!!

First I watched it this morning with G and her little boy-friend then we decided to watch it again this afternoon, just me and G.

Basically its about a Hotel for monsters, Run by the legendary Dracula, where all monsters, Including Frankenstein and his wife, The Invisible man and more…  can feel safe and secure from the “Dreaded and Evil” Human Being!!! Then on the eve of Mavis’ (Dracula’s daughter) 118 Birthday a human boy called Jonathon manages to find himself wondering into the well hidden Hotel Transylvania, Where things become a little compromised.

In my opinion Sony Pictures Animation have done it again; With their quirky yet cute animations and the brilliant way they give their films a very modern twist. They are also good at giving you some comical one liners and some actual “Laugh out Loud” moments.

I thought the film was very sweet although a little slow in parts but the comedy makes up for that! Especially the near the end where Dracula shows off his Hip-Hop Flava (Extremely funny). The story, I thought showed a lovely interpretation of a relationship between father and daughter which is a nice thing to watch, no matter what the species! Jonathon, the ” Human” was also very funny and actually for the only human in a hotel full of monsters took it rather well (sort of) ;-) In fact, All the characters were pretty likable; Look out for Frankensteins wife, Love her!!

Hotel Transylvania also amused two 4 1/2 year olds which tells you something is right with the film! It’s actually aimed at 6-12 year olds but the fact is, It’s delightful for all ages.

Hotel Transylvania was released on DVD and Blu-ray on the 4th of February so its out NOW people!!! Whoop Whoop!!!!

Have a little peeky at the trailer below, Just click on the link.

[youtube=http://youtu.be/FYgzizpCTKU]

Thanks for reading

Love Nadine xx